Audio Links: prayers, anthem and message HERE.
Ephesians 5:21-33; Matthew 22:23-33
Marriage … to stand with one another for the duration:
In plenty and in want; in joy and in sorrow; in sickness and in health; as long as we both shall live.
A sizeable commitment!
On the simplest level of life: we all want to love someone, and to have someone love us!
And we only have so much love to give.
In heaven, as Jesus notes, there will be no marriage.
In heaven, love will have blossomed full and complete.
We will love one another as Jesus loves us.
Without limit, without need, without sin!
But here and now,
Love is limited, and sin is real.
We do our best.
And we hope for love.
We fall in love, they say.
It just sort of “happens.”
We see someone – something clicks deep inside of us – a doorway is opened … and love begins to flow.
Scientists study our glands and follow the neurons; poets write of flowers and springtime … philosophers wax eloquent and profound … but whatever falling in love is, it’s powerful stuff.
But falling in love is only the preface.
Staying in love is our hope.
But love is tested and tried …
Who doesn’t wake up in the morning and take a look at the person sleeping next to you, and ask, “Who are you? And why are you here? Was I crazy? If only I had listened to my mother.”
Love is tested by the vagaries of life … by the reality of the person we love – no one ever totally conforms to our expectations and needs … neither our lovers nor our children.
The other day, I saw a child dash toward the street; the mother ran and caught it quickly, and gave it a couple of firm swats and said, “Don’t ever run to the street again!”
In that little moment of panic, fear erupted – and fear always generates anger – in that little moment of time, the mother was furious.
The child was humiliated – that was obvious – with a kick of the foot and throwing down a school paper, the child was disgusted with Mom’s behavior.
The mother quickly recovered.
She picked her child up into her arms, glanced at me walking nearby, mustered all of her motherly reserves, and said to her boy, “Are you having a bad day?”
Love … we have just so much of it to give away.
Last week, we reviewed an important passage from the Bible, Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, wherein Paul establishes a spiritual foundation for marriage.
Now, at the outset, I want to be clear:
Statistics are not favorable for Christians.
In other words, Christians have as much difficulty with marriage as “other” folks do.
Because marriage is difficult!
But this much I know –
Our spirituality does and will make a difference, but spirituality has to be deep – our connection to Christ has to be greater than the power of sin, the power of the ego, the power of our past, and the power of the other person to hurt us.
Some folks are mile wide in their sentiments, but only an inch deep in their spirituality.
Now is the time to reach for Christ.
Now is the time to deepen the reservoirs.
Because drought will come. The harsh light of sin and sorrow dries up the shallow pools quickly; only deep reservoirs survive a drought.
Being a Christian is a grand and glorious business, and I wouldn’t trade my walk with Christ for anything in this world.
His love has kept me intact.
His love has seen me through some seriously bad times.
I think I’ve seen miracles.
Donna and I have been blessed to share a common heritage of faith … our family histories and our daily commitments - Christ runs deep in our veins.
Have we always done it right?
Of course not.
Have we always been true to Christ?
Hardly.
But the reality of Christ is greater than our faults and our failings.
In Christ, our true relationship to one another is revealed … out of reverence for Christ, says Paul, be subject to one another.
Love is mutual … no one’s in charge; no one’s the boss.
Giving and receiving … this is the way it is in our walk with Christ.
The rules of love never change … or shall I say, “the governance of love” …
Because love is the one rule that trumps all other rules …
Love is patient … love is kind.
Love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way.
It is not irritable or resentful.
It take no pleasure in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.
Love is strong – it bears all things.
Love is trusting – it believes all things.
Love is forward looking – it hopes all things.
Love is strong – it endures all things.
The one law greater than all other laws.
The governance of love – to love one another as Christ loves us …
The love of Christ for us … within us, and all around us.
And our love for Christ … and one another.
The governance of love.
The spiritual foundation of marriage … the three laws of love:
Christ in the morning; Christ at noon, and Christ at night.
Loyal …
Faithful …
Forgiving …
Patient …
Profoundly centered in others.
To combat the power of the ego … the spoiled self … the “I want it, and I want it now” attitude … the “screaming child within” that wants the candy bar, and when denied, shouts, “I hate you.”
Look, there’s a little of that, maybe a lot of that, in all of us, and it never goes away entirely.
So we manage it, as best we can.
And the best of this life is Christ!
To fulfill the Golden Rule – to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Not to wait, but to act.
Conditioned by the character of Christ.
To give and not to measure what’s received in return.
To love, even when it’s unrequited.
To forgive deeply.
To not count our hurts, but count on Christ.
Whenever a pastor speaks about marriage, there’s a quiet question in most everyone’s mind: What about divorce?
When I begin marriage counseling, I always make two things clear: I am absolutely committed to exploring every avenue of reconciliation, every possibility of hope – every device, every strategy, for making marriage work.
But I advise divorce if a threshold is crossed … a threshold of harm that sometimes a couple reaches … the point of no-return:
Drugs and alcohol …
Verbal and physical abuse …
And sometimes just the bent of character – oil and water, or something like that.
Though some would say, “God can work miracles,” and I quite agree, because I’ve seen miracles, but sometimes life just doesn’t work as we might hope and pray.
Divorce always hurts, and that’s why I work hard to heal a marriage, but divorce happens, and like anything else, we can make the best of it, and Christ is there.
God knows we’re not in heaven yet.
And until that time when we stand in the light of glory, we live in the shadows and shades of time, doing our best.
We get married with the expectation that it will last.
Every marriage begins with faith, hope and love.
But time and tide take us places we don’t plan on.
And sometimes the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.
And rather than forcing folks to live down what they cannot live up to, I believe there is a time when folks need to call it quits and go their separate ways … find healing, and chart a new course.
Divorce is serious, but marriage must never be a prison.
Sometimes one of the partners has to make the decision.
It’s painful and sad,
Humiliating and embarrassing,
But this much I know.
There is always a future.
God’s love for us remains intact.
There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our LORD.
To folks who’ve had a tough time of it, I remind them:
God is always more concerned about tomorrow than yesterday.
God’s grace is all about a new day.
A new way, a new path, a new life.
God doesn’t live in the past.
God forgives it.
It’s all about tomorrow!
To make the best of it …
Expect a lot from ourselves, and a little less from one another.
We all only have so much love to give – and there ain’t no one perfect.
To those who are married, work hard at it.
Enjoy your love and celebrate the day – be patient with one another and keep on laughing.
To those divorced, don’t despair.
You will find a way through it; you will find life and love again, in some form or fashion.
To those who are married again …
Let the past go, but don’t try to kill the past.
The past is always there … for better or for worse.
As one woman said to a friend, “I know there are perfect people in the world.”
The friend asked, “Perfect? How do you know?”
The woman says: “According to my husband, his first wife was perfect, and so was his mother’s apple pie.”
Pathways for love:
Work hard on the spiritual foundations of life.
Believe in God, and pray to God for help to believe all the more.
Go as deep as you can, and then some.
Seek first the kingdom of God, and all other things will be added unto it.
Love God with all of your heart, soul, strength and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.
Forgive often, and forgive deeply.
Remove bitterness from your heart – confront it and confess it.
Pray often and read your Bible.
Worship regularly – have a Sabbath, and do it with others.
Be involved in good things.
Practice the fine art of apology.
Keep on learning.
Keep on growing.
Love is the desire of every heart.
Love is what life is all about.
Love one another as Christ loves us.
Amen and Amen!
No comments:
Post a Comment