2 Corinthians 9:6-15
# How many evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb must repent of its darkness and be willing to be changed.
# How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten, but they will need to debate whether or not the bulb actually exists. Even then, they still may not change it, for fear of alienating those who use florescent bulbs.
# How Many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.
# How Many Roman Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use candles.
# How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten, one to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the darkness.
# How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, one to cast it out, and two more to catch it as it falls.
# How Many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and two or three committees to approve the change. Oh, and also one to provide a casserole.
# How many Independent Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, because any more than that would be Ecumenicalism.
# How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
# How Many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
# How Many Unitarians does it take to change a light bulb?
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual Light Bulb Sunday Service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
# How May Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
What's a light bulb??
Did you know that you’re a light bulb … sort of … Jesus said,
“You are the light of the world.”
“Let your light shine, so that folks may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.”
Speaking of good works, how many Presbyterian incomes does it take to support a pastor?
Ten.
How many Presbyterian incomes to support a building?
Twenty.
How many Presbyterian incomes to support a ministry?
Ten.
Simple math - based upon God’s math lessons … the tithe, the giving of ten percent …
10 to support one … 20 to support one building … 10 to support a ministry.
Simple math …
Pencil to paper … how much income anticipated? What’s ten percent of that? We begin where God begins.
Simple giving … giving according to God’s principles … a massive celebration of life and love … a celebration of all things good and decent …
A celebration of our mission to the world … every piece of research reveals the church to be efficient, responsible, and consistent.
A celebration of love … for God so loved the world … and with God’s love in us, we love the world, too … one neighbor at a time … down the street, across the town and all around the world.
A celebration of trust … what we give is pleasing in the sight of the LORD, and the LORD will provide all the more for us.
A celebration of our freedom from fear of not having enough, the greed spawned by fear, and the anxiety of fear. Giving sets us free.
A celebration of Christ … we give for Him, we give to Him, and through Him, our gifts – the fish and loaves – are multiplied a thousand fold, a million fold, and His name is exalted.
Now, let’s talk about circumstances …
Sometimes we’re in a pickle … unexpected situations; financial set-backs … too much debt … God understands … God knows our life, through and through … God knows the hard times we face … God knows what can happen … God understands.
Sometimes we’re blessed abundantly, with more than we expected … our cup runneth over; the coffers are full.
Whatever our circumstance, work with it on paper.
It’s important to set a target percentage … will it be three percent, four, five, two, one?
Pencil to paper keeps us alert and thoughtful – pencil to paper makes giving a part of the program, a part of who we are, what we do.
If it’s 3%, 2%, 1% - do it …
If we can half-tithe - do it …
If we can tithe - do it …
If we can add offerings to our tithes, do it.
Bill Evans remembers a pastor saying: “Give until it feels good.”
When we give according to God’s plan, it feels good …
When we give for the sake of Christ and His glory, it feels good …
When we give to set ourselves free from the entrapments of wealth, it feels good …
When we give to relieve suffering, it feels good …
When we join arms with our sisters and brothers at Malibu and in Louisville and in Hungary and in the Sudan and Belize, it feels good …
When we give to keep a church on the corner of 80th and Sepulveda fully functioning, it feels good.
The point is this: the one who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the one who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work.
“Give and it shall be given unto you is the still the rule about life.”
By the way, how many Presbyterians does it take to change the world?
One! … You! … Amen!
